I feel like talking about Chris. And not to people that I'm talking to all the time because, frankly, they get tired of me going on. So I'm going to write here, right now, and not worry about what people think. It's a good feeling =]
So. Chris. New boyfriend =] Chris makes my third boyfriend. Ever. Well, third official boyfriend. It kind of makes me laugh because I'm so retarded at relationships. But what can I say? The odd thing is that he makes me feel so good. I'd forgotten what that feels like. What's even more strange is how my heart feels.
Sam broke up with me a year (and three months almost) ago and I was shattered. Think all you like that I was okay like I said I was, but I wasn't. Hell, even I thought I was okay. But he had been my life for almost two years and to have him suddenly ripped out of it was a killer. It wasn't until January, when I still wasn't over him, that I decided that I was tired of it and I started actively working to move on. I was tired of being held back by someone who was only dragging me down. We were talking again for a little while in October and November, but then he stopped because his marijuana became too important. And when I really thought about it, I knew he was going no where with his life and I knew I wanted someone better.
Let me tell you, getting over him is a beast. But I think I'm pretty much successful in that endeavor. Sure, I get sad now and then when I think about it, but who doesn't feel sad when remembering old hurts? It's a part of life, and something that we should all be accustomed to. How can we ever learn if we never learn to let go? How can we be strong if we've never had a pain to grow strong from? And, as luck would have it, as soon as I decided to move on, suddenly the world saw it too and went to embrace me back with open arms.
What surprised me is that people could tell the difference. Sure, they didn't know what it was or what had caused it, but people can still tell these things. It was crazy! And, I was happy.
So Chris. Story with Chris. I'll tell the creamer story in another blog (that I will probably write after this one). But, for many who didn't actually know this, first time I knew who Chris was was my freshman year in high school because we had class together. Crazy, aye? Didn't even remember that until recently...
But Chris was always the guy that I saw from a distance as this really cool, really funny guy that everyone liked. He struck me as being one of those really popular guys that everyone knows who he is and really, who didn't like him? He made everyone laugh, was really smart, and he struck me as one of those people I really wanted to know. But I was always the quiet kid who didn't say anything. He'd tell stories and I would be looking away smiling while not making it completely apparent that I had been listening at all (Quiet fits of laughter were/are my expertise). Still, how would he know I existed?
I didn't have another class with him until 11th grade, but in that time I saw him in the hallways all the time and yet I could still see that I wanted to know who he was. Even when I was hating school and everything in it, I'd see him and just wonder how he could be so happy. And yet, even that made me feel a little better.
In 11th grade, I had Creative Writing with him. That class was AMAZING. w00t! Plus, Chris made me laugh. A lot. My favorite story that he told was about how some football players called him gay. His response was, "Oh, I'm gay? At least I don't slap other men's butts and enjoy rolling around in a pile of hot, sweaty men" and he turned and walked away. By the time they figured out it was an insult he was already long gone. It was priceless. Plus, he liked to write and I did too. He definitely rocked. But I left La Cueva at the end of the semester, so I didn't see him again.
I think I went until the summer following graduation (meaning last summer) before I saw him again. I knew he was friends with some of the people that I was friends with, but it didn't mean that we talked. Hell, I don't even think I'd spoken a word to him in the entire four years that I'd known him. But there was a little bit of silent acknowledgment of one another, and so it wasn't too bad.
When I got onto Facebook, I saw him listed under people that I may know. While accurate, I didn't think that I knew him well enough to friend request him. As much as I wanted to, I decided against it. But, as luck would have it, he saw me listed under people that he may know and he decided, "Why not?" and he went and asked me to be his friend.
When I saw his request, I was surprised because I didn't think that he even knew who I was, let alone be someone that he would want to add as a friend. But I decided. "Why not?" and so I went with it. We started talking a little bit, but then there was this silly survey on it asking you to fill out the answers to the questions based on what you knew of the person who had posted them. One of the questions was, "have you ever liked the person? If so, do you still?" Well, he answered it for me and said that he had liked me but thought that he was too weird for me. He posted the same quiz so that I could fill it out for him, and when I got to that question I replied saying that I had liked him but I didn't think he knew I existed so I didn't try to pursue it.
Not long after, he sent me a message saying how it was a bit funny how we had both liked one another and yet we thought the other one didn't. We laughed, but then he said that we should get coffee sometime but he was really busy. I said we could make it work.
Next time I was in town, it was Valentine's Day. A.K.A.: Singles' Awareness Day. After an invigorating game of Lap Tag, there was a special dinner to appreciate how single all of our friends were. Well, it just so happened that Chris was there, too. After some discreet flirting and number exchanging, we agreed that it would be most excellent to see each other again before I had to come back to school.
That Sunday was the best Sunday EVER. It started with bowling. Yay bowling!! The majority of people sucked at it, but it's okay. We couldn't play at first because no lanes were open, so Chris gave me money to play with the jukebox and others played pooled. Music was most excellent, and there was a bit more flirtation between Chris and myself. When we finally did play, it was much fun. I sucked, but it didn't matter because I kept talking with Chris and it was super awesome. After our time was up, everyone left raced to IHOP to enjoy some food. A couple hours went by, Abe bought our food/liquidy beverages, and most people who remained had to go home. That's when the creaming incident happened. Let's just say that after that, Chris and I were going crazy wanting to see each other again. So, we went out of our way to see each other one last time before I left the following day.
Monday was neat =D The morning was basically consumed with a couple of hours of shameless flirting and confessions of emotions and it was so disgustingly cute it was amazing. It even made a couple people tear up. And then we ran off at full speed to Starbucks to see each other again. It was then that we came together. And we are EPIC. It's understandable if you don't really get it, but it helps if you see us together. That's why it will always be remembered that 2-16-09 is super fantastic ^.^
So what about Chris? Well, he makes me feel incredible. I thought my heart had been destroyed by Sam. I'm not going to lie, after him I thought all men were horrible people who couldn't love or feel and only wanted women for their bodies. I was disgusted by men as a whole and just really resentful towards all of them. Uhg. But Chris? I'm still stunned that such a person can exist. My heart doesn't feel like the shattered fragments have been feebly put together, but rather that my heart had never been destroyed in the first place. Every day I wake up feeling amazing that such an incredible person could like me. The weird thing is that I found just the right person I was looking for.
After Sam, it started to become clearer what kind of things I wanted from a person. And Chris fills all of them and more. I think I'm the luckiest person alive, because someone as great as Chris is now in my life. This morning I woke up to this message from him:
":'D Krista, we're like N2, cuz we've got a strong bond!
Yer the cheese in meh mac and cheese, yer a prize fighter that KO'd me with one look of your beautiful face! If you were alcohol, I wouldn't be able to drive acuz I'm alway intoxicated by you! If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity! If I had a nickle every time in my life I've met someone as wonderful as you, I'd have five cents! I'm glad you don't wear makeup regularly, because you'd be messing with perfection! If I had a star for every time you brighten my day, I'd have a galaxy! To be completely honest, there isn't a word in the dictionary to describe how wonderful you are. Since we first hugged, I've been able to say I've been touched by an angel! I know this is totally out of the blue, I was just checking up on here for my last check of the day before I sleep and well, I saw yer pic and comment on meh profile and just had a random burst of totally crazy affection :D You just made today even better!"
Really, I can't stop smiling. And how could I? Just knowing that someone as amazing as Chris is out there and likes me of all people, it's just the greatest feeling in the world. So now it doesn't matter what's coming my way, what happens, what life tries to throw at me, because nothing is bringing me down. It's like I'm a helium balloon and all the bad things are grasping to the strings trying to bring me back down to earth and I'm just taking them with me =]
My life is fantastic, in large part to Chris. And I'm thankful every day that he continues to be mine ^.^
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Oi. Life. Really. Insane. What to say? School is. My roommate and I get along great, the only thing is we've spent a lot of time in hospitals recently together. Oh man. Lemme tell you, waiting rooms and the ER suck. No fun! I have a boyfriend, and his name is Chris. He has completely brightened my world. Zeta is stressful. And I am crazy busy.