Sigh

So I've had this sinus infection for I'm not even sure how long anymore all I know is that I still feel like crap. And there's so much going on in my life right now I don't even know where to begin. I don't know, I guess all I can say is that I'm tired, I'm trying, and I still don't know if I can make it. Oddly, my optimism keeps me trying so I keep going hoping that it'll get better but who knows. My life has the potential to get incredibly more difficult in the next few months. I pray to whatever god may exist that it doesn't. I'm just tired. All the time. All I want to do is sleep. Just let me sleep, give me time to reboot my system. I work a lot but not too much. 30 hours in two weeks really isn't bad, although I am a full-time student with a boyfriend, scholastic chair for Zeta and the Vice President for Panhellenic and I'm in Spanish Club and potentially rejoining A.S.A.B. Fuck. I think I am crazy. And I applied for a second job yesterday!!! I don't know what's gotten into me. I just want to stop, let go, freeze everything so that I can take time to make it better. I want to visit my sister. I haven't seen her in two months. Hell, I haven't been back to Albuquerque in two months. That means two months that I've spent here in this Podunk town doing hell if I know what trying to keep going. Two weeks and I get to go home, but even then, it's only because there is Zeta stuff going on in Albuquerque that I have to go to. I get to go to Lubbock on Saturday and while it is a trip it's not the same. I wish I had a car so that I could drive home and take it easy where I could make my mind completely and totally numb so that i can stop thinking, stop being, stop existing just for those four short hours. I just wish I had a moment to make it all stop.