Monday, March 15, 2010

Hours at Work

I swear to god, work is trying to kill me. It isn't the job itself, it's just the hours. I mean, honestly, who the fuck wants to work right now? It's so early in the morning, and I'm tired all the time because of it. My job is easy. I sit on my ass at the desk and basically do whatever. Like blog and listen to music. But honestly, I don't get to sleep more than four hours or so at a time anymore and it's starting to kill me. I can just feel myself falling closer and closer to the edge and while I don't want to quit what am I to do? I'm failing classes (not all but still), I have no energy ever, I'm eating horribly, and I'm pretty sure I've basically been sick for a month and haven't gotten better because I don't sleep like normal people. I slept for 14 hours on Saturday because I knew it was going to be the only time I got to really sleep for days. So what does that say about me? I know I'm slowly killing my body. There's only so long you can push it at 110% before it just gives out and never is the same again. Sometimes I wonder what happened to the really interesting, respectable person I was in high school. I wasn't concerned about sleeping all the time, I ate alright, I worked out, I was interesting, people took me seriously, and people respected me. Now, it's almost the complete opposite. I guess I'm still interesting but I think it's for the wrong reasons. And what if it is all because I'm so overworked and overstretched and exhausted all because of this job? I know I need the money, but it's only two months until school is over and I can get a job for the summer. Maybe quitting is better. But to quit feels like I gave up. And I should be able to do anything, right? It's only two months, maybe I can hang on just a little longer...

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