It's the two sides of one coin, the opposites that make everything possible. It's the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the heads and the tails. That's my life. Right now, looking to the future, there's good, and there's bad.
The Light:
I got accepted to an archaeology field school in Peru. AAAAHHHH!!!! I'm so excited!!! I get to spend six weeks in Peru running around learning how to excavate archeological ruins, collect various artifacts and remains I may find, and how to prepare and analyze them in a lab. Oh I'm so excited!!! AAAHHHH!!!!
Another good thing, I graduate in December!!! Oh man, I don't know how much more of this whole school thing I can take. I'm tired of killing myself and dealing with shitty people and being stressed out all the time and having so much to do all the time. I graduate and I'm done. Thank god.
The Dark:
Well, I want to go to graduate school in the fall of 2012, but I don't think I can get in. They want amazing people, and I just don't see myself fitting into that category. Who knows, maybe going to Peru will help. But still.
You know, my viewpoint of myself has been really shitty lately. I've been really mean to me!!! I just don't like myself. I feel like I'm nothing special, like I'm average, and all kinds of other really nasty stuff that I probably should put here. But I've been super mean to me lately. I don't know what's up.
Also, trying to figure out this whole wedding thing is stressful enough as it is. So we aren't getting married in July like planned but fuck now we have no date and nothing is getting done and it's stressing me out like crazy!! Ahh!! Seriously, I'm about ready to just grab the wedding party and family who wants to go, run away to Vegas, and just get married. Who needs to do something fancy, anyway? Uhg, I'm tired of this whole thing just sitting over my head.
Showing posts with label Graduation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Graduation. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Grad School?
Currently that's the issue I'm mulling over in my head. Do I want to go to grad school and get a master's in Forensics or do I want to go to law school. Luckily, there are a couple of schools where you can actually do both. Still, you have to be accepted into each program individually. Uhg. I've been looking at numerous grad schools, and after I get through those I'm probably going to start checking out law schools. Oi. If only I knew what to do with my life.
I'm finally done with recruitment and finally unsilenced. I can reassociate with Zeta, however it sucks because I work nights. This means that even though I can hang out with them and wear shirts and whatever else, I still can't really go to anything because I'm always working. FML. I guess that's what happens in the big kid world, you lose time to do fun things as you work your butt off to make ends meet. Sometimes I wish I wasn't growing up. Plus, no matter where I go for school in 2012, I'm going to be moving to a place I don't know (more likely than not) and being far from everyone and everything I know. Alright, the only schools in Forensics are basically on the coasts, and mostly in the northeast. If I moved there I'd be close to family I've never really known well, and if I moved to California I'd be really close to family I rarely see. If I go to Florida, well, there's no one there. Nore is there anyone in Michigan or Illinois. *Sigh* Life is hard.
The good thing is the stability and happiness that Chris gives me. Whenever I start to lose hope or get really down he's always there to pick me back up and remind me that I'm okay. No matter what I freak out about, from Zeta to being a hypochondriac (and all that comes with that) to school, to family, to life, he's always there to keep me sane. He loves me and supports me in all I do, and he's there for me. Always. I fucking love this guy.
Well, life is kicking my ass. I'm a student who's taking overtime in hours (full time max is 18, I'm doing 20), I'm working two jobs, I'm in many extracurricular activities, and I still manage to maintain a 3.3 GPA and a social life. I think I'm superwoman.
I'm finally done with recruitment and finally unsilenced. I can reassociate with Zeta, however it sucks because I work nights. This means that even though I can hang out with them and wear shirts and whatever else, I still can't really go to anything because I'm always working. FML. I guess that's what happens in the big kid world, you lose time to do fun things as you work your butt off to make ends meet. Sometimes I wish I wasn't growing up. Plus, no matter where I go for school in 2012, I'm going to be moving to a place I don't know (more likely than not) and being far from everyone and everything I know. Alright, the only schools in Forensics are basically on the coasts, and mostly in the northeast. If I moved there I'd be close to family I've never really known well, and if I moved to California I'd be really close to family I rarely see. If I go to Florida, well, there's no one there. Nore is there anyone in Michigan or Illinois. *Sigh* Life is hard.
The good thing is the stability and happiness that Chris gives me. Whenever I start to lose hope or get really down he's always there to pick me back up and remind me that I'm okay. No matter what I freak out about, from Zeta to being a hypochondriac (and all that comes with that) to school, to family, to life, he's always there to keep me sane. He loves me and supports me in all I do, and he's there for me. Always. I fucking love this guy.
Well, life is kicking my ass. I'm a student who's taking overtime in hours (full time max is 18, I'm doing 20), I'm working two jobs, I'm in many extracurricular activities, and I still manage to maintain a 3.3 GPA and a social life. I think I'm superwoman.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
School Year '10-'11
Oi. Yup, it's started. Huzzah!! I've figured out that I only have three semesters left until I graduate with a double major. Sweet! Also, haven't yet decided what it is I'm going to do after school. A part of me wants to be a lawyer, and yet part of me thinks that's a bad idea. I don't know. Luckily, after I graduate I'm taking a semester off so hopefully I can figure out at least a few more steps of what I'm going to do after school. Oi.
As of now I am planning recruitment for all Women's Greek Organizations on campus. Woo! Also, planning a wedding, working, and going to school full time. Jeez mon'! Luckily I have amazing friends, like Lish, who are there all along the way. And what would I do without Chris? He really is my rock. He's the resounding figure that's pushing me to get through school, to not give up when things get tough, and my shoulder to cry on when it feels like everything is falling apart. And that's part of why I'm marrying him.
I really need to clean my house, though. It's stressing me out because it's so dirty, and the cats are throwing a fit that we haven't cleaned the litter box in a while. Ew. I'm still debating on whether or not to clean after I post this. I've been feeling sick all day, but honestly, maybe it's in part due to the state of my house right now. Gah, if only I had a washer and drier. I was so close, too! Well, we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll wash a few dishes then go to sleep. I've done some homework today, so I'm feeling pretty decent. Worked tonight, did well, missed a class because I almost passed out and threw up everywhere, but overall I'm feeling okay at this point. Just tired. So maybe all I'll do is some dishes. And maybe the litter box. Or I'll have Chris do it when he gets home.
As of now I am planning recruitment for all Women's Greek Organizations on campus. Woo! Also, planning a wedding, working, and going to school full time. Jeez mon'! Luckily I have amazing friends, like Lish, who are there all along the way. And what would I do without Chris? He really is my rock. He's the resounding figure that's pushing me to get through school, to not give up when things get tough, and my shoulder to cry on when it feels like everything is falling apart. And that's part of why I'm marrying him.
I really need to clean my house, though. It's stressing me out because it's so dirty, and the cats are throwing a fit that we haven't cleaned the litter box in a while. Ew. I'm still debating on whether or not to clean after I post this. I've been feeling sick all day, but honestly, maybe it's in part due to the state of my house right now. Gah, if only I had a washer and drier. I was so close, too! Well, we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll wash a few dishes then go to sleep. I've done some homework today, so I'm feeling pretty decent. Worked tonight, did well, missed a class because I almost passed out and threw up everywhere, but overall I'm feeling okay at this point. Just tired. So maybe all I'll do is some dishes. And maybe the litter box. Or I'll have Chris do it when he gets home.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Law School
When I was a little kid, my dad told me that I would make a great lawyer. He wasn't saying that I had to be one or that it would be the best thing for me to do or that he wouldn't love me if I wasn't. He didn't spend my life training me to go. He didn't pound it into my head that it was completely essential for me to go to law school and that that was to be my direction in life. No, all he said was that I would probably enjoy it and that I'd be good at it. When I was a little kid I took it as a compliment because he thought I was smart enough to be a lawyer. As I got older, though, he just kind of left it as I went on to pursue my own ideas.
Last year, I was taking a criminal justice class where my teacher prompted discussions and thought about criminal cases. I didn't talk much, but it always made me think of what my position would be and for the first time challenged me to defend it. I loved it. So my dad said again what I had heard so long ago, "Have you thought about being a lawyer? It's very similar to what you're experiencing, and you would be really good at it." I thought about it, but I was still stuck on the idea that I wanted to do forensic work, be a criminal profiler, all of that fun jazz. Plus, I was thinking about lawyers with the stereotype that Hollywood projects. So, while it spiked my interest a bit, I put it in a back corner of my mind.
This semester, my science classes for my degree have been kicking my ass. I've gotten so frustrated with it that I've been tempted to just give up on science and major in something else. So I added a second major, Psychology. Contradictory, yes, but in the pathway of becoming a profiler, it makes sense. While I wanted to drop Forensic Biology, though, I realized just how close I was to graduating with that degree, and it seemed like a waste of time and energy to not follow through. I only have a year left. One year, and I will be done with Forensic Biology. And I learned that I could finish Psychology as well. This means that this time a year from now, I will be 20 years old and about to finish college with two undergraduate degrees. Intense, I know.
I was talking to my dad about finishing school next May and he brought up grad school. He asked if I thought about it and what I wanted to do once I graduated. I told him I really didn't know. It's true. The thought of graduating is amazing. The sense of accomplishment I'd have is absurd. To me, graduating like that would make up (in my mind) for all of my academic failures in the past. It would be the statement that says, "Look at me! I'm smart! I can do whatever I want to do and nothing will hold me back!" So while I'm stoked to graduate, I'm also horrified, because what am I supposed to do after I graduate? I'd have a degree in Forensic Bio and another in Psychology. What the hell do I do with that? I don't want to work in a lab. Being a psychologist isn't bad, but honestly, the likelihood have having guaranteed work in this economy is low. So no. I don't know. So my dad brings up grad school and I'm thinking, "Well crap, I could go but I don't know what I'd study and how would I pay for it and there's a myriad of problems and questions and issues to think about before I could possibly go." His suggestion: What about law school?
First off, until this point I didn't even know that law school was a graduate program. I'm not even sure that I connected it into the realm of normal academic schooling because you go to specific "law schools" and you study law. It's a category of its own. At least that's what I thought. Now I know that in order to get your doctorate of jurisprudence (J.D.) you have to go through a law program at an accredited school and it falls into the category of a Graduate School Program. Who knew? Not me.
Second though, maybe that's a good idea. It would give me something to study. I'd have a direction to go. Wandering aimlessly in life without direction or purpose is horrifying to me. Now I'd have a direction. And UNM is one of the best law schools in the country. Lawyers will always have a job, and there is financial security. I can live a comfortable lifestyle. But would I enjoy it?
I remembered what I felt last year, and so I decided, "Why don't I look into this? It wouldn't hurt to look." So I did. I looked at UNM first because it's in my hometown of Albuquerque, started to read about their program, and look at various aspects about what law school entailed. It was one of the most interesting things I've ever looked at! So I decided maybe it's worth a shot. I looked at various requirements to get in, and started to think, "You know, I could probably do this." I kept hearing about the LSAT (Law School Admissions Test), and so I looked into what that was. I read about it and while they kept saying it was super difficult, it just didn't sound that hard to me. I figured a better test of that would be to look at practice questions to use as a better judge. Of all the questions I took (granted, it wasn't that many), I got about 90% of them right. I wasn't actually trying. So now I'm thinking that with some preparation, I could actually do this.
The classes sound crazy interesting. Stereotype law sounds horrendous, but I think about all my experience with law (about 4 college classes worth) and I realize that I loved all of it. So which is a better indication of what I'd think about it, a stereotype from a place that always fucks up everything and doesn't get anything right, or classes that focus on it and are way closer to the actuality of it than television could ever get? It was at this point that I decided to go to law school.
So this is my plan now. While graduating next May was only a possibility, I intend on making it a reality. Law schools only start in the fall semesters, so if I graduated in December I'd have to kill eight months before I could start school. I need at least decent grades, so I'm determined to do well academically as best I can this semester and for certain for my last three. I am going to spend this summer studying my ass off for the LSAT, and I am going to take it in October. By February of next year I will have my application completed for UNM. And I am going to get in.
Last year, I was taking a criminal justice class where my teacher prompted discussions and thought about criminal cases. I didn't talk much, but it always made me think of what my position would be and for the first time challenged me to defend it. I loved it. So my dad said again what I had heard so long ago, "Have you thought about being a lawyer? It's very similar to what you're experiencing, and you would be really good at it." I thought about it, but I was still stuck on the idea that I wanted to do forensic work, be a criminal profiler, all of that fun jazz. Plus, I was thinking about lawyers with the stereotype that Hollywood projects. So, while it spiked my interest a bit, I put it in a back corner of my mind.
This semester, my science classes for my degree have been kicking my ass. I've gotten so frustrated with it that I've been tempted to just give up on science and major in something else. So I added a second major, Psychology. Contradictory, yes, but in the pathway of becoming a profiler, it makes sense. While I wanted to drop Forensic Biology, though, I realized just how close I was to graduating with that degree, and it seemed like a waste of time and energy to not follow through. I only have a year left. One year, and I will be done with Forensic Biology. And I learned that I could finish Psychology as well. This means that this time a year from now, I will be 20 years old and about to finish college with two undergraduate degrees. Intense, I know.
I was talking to my dad about finishing school next May and he brought up grad school. He asked if I thought about it and what I wanted to do once I graduated. I told him I really didn't know. It's true. The thought of graduating is amazing. The sense of accomplishment I'd have is absurd. To me, graduating like that would make up (in my mind) for all of my academic failures in the past. It would be the statement that says, "Look at me! I'm smart! I can do whatever I want to do and nothing will hold me back!" So while I'm stoked to graduate, I'm also horrified, because what am I supposed to do after I graduate? I'd have a degree in Forensic Bio and another in Psychology. What the hell do I do with that? I don't want to work in a lab. Being a psychologist isn't bad, but honestly, the likelihood have having guaranteed work in this economy is low. So no. I don't know. So my dad brings up grad school and I'm thinking, "Well crap, I could go but I don't know what I'd study and how would I pay for it and there's a myriad of problems and questions and issues to think about before I could possibly go." His suggestion: What about law school?
First off, until this point I didn't even know that law school was a graduate program. I'm not even sure that I connected it into the realm of normal academic schooling because you go to specific "law schools" and you study law. It's a category of its own. At least that's what I thought. Now I know that in order to get your doctorate of jurisprudence (J.D.) you have to go through a law program at an accredited school and it falls into the category of a Graduate School Program. Who knew? Not me.
Second though, maybe that's a good idea. It would give me something to study. I'd have a direction to go. Wandering aimlessly in life without direction or purpose is horrifying to me. Now I'd have a direction. And UNM is one of the best law schools in the country. Lawyers will always have a job, and there is financial security. I can live a comfortable lifestyle. But would I enjoy it?
I remembered what I felt last year, and so I decided, "Why don't I look into this? It wouldn't hurt to look." So I did. I looked at UNM first because it's in my hometown of Albuquerque, started to read about their program, and look at various aspects about what law school entailed. It was one of the most interesting things I've ever looked at! So I decided maybe it's worth a shot. I looked at various requirements to get in, and started to think, "You know, I could probably do this." I kept hearing about the LSAT (Law School Admissions Test), and so I looked into what that was. I read about it and while they kept saying it was super difficult, it just didn't sound that hard to me. I figured a better test of that would be to look at practice questions to use as a better judge. Of all the questions I took (granted, it wasn't that many), I got about 90% of them right. I wasn't actually trying. So now I'm thinking that with some preparation, I could actually do this.
The classes sound crazy interesting. Stereotype law sounds horrendous, but I think about all my experience with law (about 4 college classes worth) and I realize that I loved all of it. So which is a better indication of what I'd think about it, a stereotype from a place that always fucks up everything and doesn't get anything right, or classes that focus on it and are way closer to the actuality of it than television could ever get? It was at this point that I decided to go to law school.
So this is my plan now. While graduating next May was only a possibility, I intend on making it a reality. Law schools only start in the fall semesters, so if I graduated in December I'd have to kill eight months before I could start school. I need at least decent grades, so I'm determined to do well academically as best I can this semester and for certain for my last three. I am going to spend this summer studying my ass off for the LSAT, and I am going to take it in October. By February of next year I will have my application completed for UNM. And I am going to get in.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Graduation
It feels like I just got here and already I'm thinking about graduating and leaving here. I was looking at my schedule and it looks like I could graduate with at least one degree by May of 2011. And it turns out, I'm actually scheduled to graduate then. Who knew? So officially, I'm even supposed to graduate then. The odd thing is that it might actually happen. So then I have one other degree, Psychology, left to get. And even that should only take about another semester from there. It's so weird. I've only been here for two years, and I might graduate in one more year. If I did with both degrees, I'd be done with college at 20 with two degrees. Fuck! I don't know what I'd do. Hell, I don't even know if I'm ready for the real world yet. I'm going to start renting a house over the summer and next school year, and I hope to pay for it with a job rather than anything else. My college fund can just be used on schooling at that point rather than living expenses. This is my goal. So, I don't know. Maybe I'll add in a third degree so that I can graduate with all three in May 2012. How ridiculous would that be to be a 21 year old with three degrees? It's insane, and yet entirely possible. Oi. I don't know. It's scary to think that soon I'll have to live and work and pay rent and buy food and be another grown up working, living, starting a family, and going through life just seeing what there is left in my adventure that feels like it's hardly begun. I don't know if I'm ready for it. But I have a year to prepare.
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