My Life is SO Weird

My life nowadays always seems to have a way of working its way right back where I want it. I don't know how, it just always does. Every time something comes and knocks it out of whack, it finds its way back and I have no idea how. Here's my two guesses: 1. I have REALLY GOOD karma. 2. I am a master at the Law of Attraction. Why do I say this? Mainly because Jarrod and I are still friends and I'm not ready to kill Lynsie anymore.

So let's start with the first theory, I have FANTASTIC karma. I'm not going to deny that one. If you've ever looked at my life you will notice that I always get great things happening to me. Just as things are starting to look bad something good always comes along. I'm not kidding, my karmic energy is phenomenal. I'm not sure how, maybe I can save karmic energy from past lives and let it all accumulate (like roll-over minutes haha lol roll-0ver karma points lmao). Either way, karma always seems to be in my favor. At least, nowadays. But then again, doesn't karma sort of tie into the Law of Attraction?

So the second theory, I'm a master at the Law of Attraction*. This makes sense. If you don't know me, let me enlighten you. A couple years ago I was seriously depressed. I was suicidal. Yes, I was cutting. I contemplated suicide on a fairly regular basis and for all those who did know me at that time, you know that nothing helped. I had to see a councilor, I was put on mood-stabilizers (because I'm a bit bipolar), and still, nothing was really making a difference. Now you are probably wondering how this applies to me being a master of the Law of Attraction. Well, it's simple. Take the negative side of that Law and you had me: the Master of Negativity. Here's what I kept thinking over and over and over again:

1. My life sucks.
2. My parents hate me.
3. No one at school likes me.
4. I have no friends.
5. My sister is a bitch who is out to ruin my life.
6. I'm fat.

These six things were what I thought about all the time. Now, we know the universe likes to give you what you ask for. So what happened? I got all of the above tenfold. It sucked. Basically it turned out like so:

1. I hated everything in life and was miserable enough to be suicidal.
2. My parents and I fought all the time.
3. People at school gave me dirty looks and talked shit about me behind my back.
4. My friends stopped talking to me and left me alone.
5. My sister and I would yell and fight (yes, physically too) at every opportunity.
6. I gained 40 lbs in a year.

Yeah, Law of Attraction works alright. And guess what? I had to learn that the hard way. I had to learn that I made my life exactly that. I had to learn the hard way that I lost everything I cared about most because I was so damn negative. What a lot of people probably don't know, however, is that is was my friend and soon-to-be boyfriend, Sam, that helped me out of it. How? Well, he was in the same position I was, and as soon as I started to see what he was doing, it snapped me out of it. I saw what he was doing and it got me out of my introspective nightmare. I realized that everything he was doing to himself was an exact reflection of what I was doing to myself. Together, we both grew out of it and moved on. If you've talked to me recently, you know I've talked a lot of trash about Sam, but the truth is, I still owe him my life. He helped me more than anyone could and saved my life. I still have to respect that. It was because of him that I could see how my thoughts made my life exactly that. When my thoughts were a lie, the universe turned it into a truth. That's how I learned about the Law of Attraction.

It wasn't until this past year, however, that I really started to get how to be positive. It really hit me when Sam and I broke up (yeah, we were together for almost two years. He was my first boyfriend. It ended badly. We don't talk anymore). After that moment, I started to really see things. I got out of a world that existed of only two people, Sam and myself. I started to see the world for what it was. I saw people and really saw them for the first time. I started to realize that I had friends. My parents and I get along great. My sister is one of my many best friends. I'm losing weight. I'm going to a school that's right for me. Everything in my life is going exactly the way I want it to. People always wish that their lives could be perfect. Mine already is. I'm surrounded by great people. I learn something new every day. I have a huge circle of friends. Life is amazing. And I made it happen.

So hwo does this apply to me now? Well, Jarrod is talking to me and we're still good friends (yes, name of said guy that I've liked for ages is Jarrod. I'm tired of alluding to him). I'm not so angry at my cousin anymore. I forgive her. And life just went back to the way it was before yesterday blew up in my face. Strange. My life is SO weird.

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*For those of you who don't understand, it's a simple concept. Basically, what you put out is what you get back threefold (or close to anyway). So let's say you send out a small, marble-sized amount of love to someone you know. In turn, the universe will give you back a bowling ball portion of love. Let's say you send out a toothpick of negativity to someone. You will get back a javelin-sized negative reaction in your face. It follows very close to the idea of karma, it just has a different name and a little clearer definition.