Friday, December 11, 2009

I'm Back

Home, at least. Or rather, home in Albuquerque with my family. And yet I miss Portales like crazy. It's odd how after a year and a half of living there I feel more connected there than I do to Albuquerque. I have a stronger, more established life there. It isn't the flitty day-by-day passings of life that I had here in Albuquerque, but more like a home that I've established myself in. The life that I have there is mine, created solely by me and dictated by me into everything that I want. Nothing I have there was influenced by anyone else. I made it, and it is my life. It's not so here. So I guess it goes back to that saying, Home is where the heart is. My heart is in Portales. I'm sorry to all my friends and family in Albuquerque, but my heart really isn't here anymore.

Still, there is still a lot here that I don't have in Portales. My friends and family, for instance. If I could take them and put them there, it would be awesome. And life would be rather interesting. But at the same time, both places provide me a means of escape from the life I have in either one. Both have drama, both have problems, and both I need to get away from every now and then. So I'm back in Albuquerque for a bit over a month. Maybe it'll cause the drama from back home to settle down since I won't be there to feed it. 5 weeks is a long time. A lot can happen. But then I have to wonder how, now that I'm back here, things will change. I don't know what's coming for me. All I know is that I'm ready to deal with it. So let's go life. Show me what you got. Because after this hell of a semester I think I can take on anything.

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